Thursday, August 28, 2008
Bedtime in our house, like most everyone with children, becomes a huge chore. Every night its the same thing.
#1 Kids, its time to get in the shower.
#2 Gabe and Savannah, get in the shower.
#3 GET IN THE DAMN SHOWER....
5 minutes later....
#4 .....hilarious guys....now turn on the water!
I don't get it, they know I'm gonna get irate, I did last night, and the night before, and....well, you get the idea. Its so frustrating, and thats just the shower part. Brushing teeth goes much the same way.
Now that showers are done and teeth are brushed, we read. At this point, I'm usually pretty fired up and probably sound like I could do voice-overs for the Devil himself, so what does Savannah bring out, "My little Pony". Yeah, thats right, we get to read about Pinky Pie and how she is crowned "lillie lightly, queen of all that sparkles and glows." For real???? You expect me to read this crap....now!! I just went through hell to convince you that the three inches of dirt on your face could not, in fact, wait til tomorrow to wash off, followed only by an activity that could easily be compared to playing chicken with a Piranha, and now you want me to bust out my best 'singsong' voice and lull you to sleep with a bunch of stories about magical ponies. I didn't sign up for all this.
Once they both get in bed and 'nighttime pleasantries' have been exchanged, I always get THE QUESTION.
Savannah:.....um......daaaaaaddddy.....ummmmmmm.....what do I dream about?
(Keep in mind that I am not a patient person and I feel like shipping both the offspring to the land of eternal slumber at this point)
Savannah: You need to give me something good to dream about so I can fall asleep.
Me: Hmm, ok....lets see. Why don't you dream that you have a delusional Father who has made it his life's mission to track down all the little pony unicorn things, rip off their horns, and stabs himself in the eyeball repeatedly. Okay!?...*winks*.....sweet dreams princess!!!
She hasn't slept in three weeks.