Monday, August 4, 2008
Dining with The Jokers Lovechild
I'm about 97% sure I ate dinner with the Joker's love-child.
A few nights ago my family and I went to dinner at a favorite Chinese place. As we walked in, we were quickly seated at a booth toward the center of the building, so the lighting was a little bit dim. No problem there, the darker it is, the less chance my family has of seeing me steal a second fortune cookie. (dont judge me, I swear I was settling a 'cookie ownership dispute' amongst the offspring!!) Besides, the lighting was also setting the stage for what was to come.
The menu was studied and it was quickly decided that the nights meal would consist of rice, lo mein noodles, and sweet and sour chicken. We only had to wait a few short minutes before our meal was brought to us. However, it was during this time that I noticed that Savannah was looking a bit "rough". She is always cute, but she had hair that was falling out of her pig tails, and her face could stand to see a washcloth as she had a few smudges of dirt on her cheeks. By itself it was ok, but combined with the less than stellar lighting, it was all a bit...well....creepy.
Finally our food arrived at the table. Like usual, I help one kid get a plate and Cheryl helps the other. Cheryl is a lot faster at this part than I am. Maybe cause a chubby guy in a both made for Chinese people isn't allowed to move to his full potential!!! (that might be a post for another day) Needless to say, Savannah was eating well before Gabes' plate was even ready. When I finally looked up to see how everyone was doing...I was completely taken back by what sat before my very eyes. I swear on all things holy and pure, Savannah looked just like a mini Joker. Now accompanying her disheveled hair and smudged cheeks, she had sweet and sour sauce all over her mouth. When I say all over, I'm not talking about a "little corner of her mouth" type dirty, it's more like a "4-year-old-fornication-with-a-saucy-covered-chunk-o-chicken" dirty. Once the intial shock wore off, I was completely entertained for the rest of my meal. IT WAS AWESOME!!! I all but begged her to look me straight in the eyes and say, "How 'bout we start with a magic trick" She declined and then proceeded to growl at me like some sort of rabid dog. Oh well, I can't have everything. I will however, hold tight to the idea that she could totally be in the Batman movie where Batmans kids try desperately to honor their fathers name by destroying the Jokers kids in the Gotham city soccer tournaments.