Chimpanzee with the munchies and harboring a fugative!

Weird title but that pretty much sums up the last three weeks or so, and its also an accurate description of how my family thinks of me. True story.

Cheryl and I were watching the BCS title game between Florida and Oklahoma. It was right near the end of the game and Florida had secured the win. With every big win comes the ritualistic dousing of the coach with Gatorade. As we sat there watching Urban Myer swim out of the river of Orange drink, I turned to Cheryl and mentioned that it looked like Tang and then told her how much I love Tang.
"Seriously," she said, "Tang is nasty!!! The only people that drink Tang are Astronauts and Chimpanzees!"
My reply, "AAAAhhhhhhh, so you think I'm Outta This World!!....sorta like an Astronaut!"
She looked my square in the eyes, "Nope!"

.....strike one

I walked into the house the other day and was immediately greeted by Savannah. She had her typical smile, her mischievous look, and she was hiding something behind her back. I was instantly curious and so I said,
"Hi Nannah, what do you have?"
Her reply,
"Mom bought it for me and YOU CAN'T EAT IT!!!!"
Still not knowing what it is, I inquired a little further, just to find out that it was a new Webkin, (a little stuffed animal thing). WHAT THE HELL!! I don't know about you, but I often have these uncontrollable urges to EAT PLUSH TOYS!

.....strike two

For Christmas, one of Gabes' gifts was a remote control truck. After a few hours of charging, our front room was quickly converted into a monster truck rally. Back and forth, climbing piles of shoes, jumping books, and chasing sisters. All seemed well, and then the unspeakable happened.
"Uhhhhhhhh.....Mooooooooom......we might have a problem!"
Instantly, everyone froze and we waited to hear what disaster had taken place. Did he tip over the Christmas tree, bang into his sister too hard?
Not quite sure if she even wanted to know, Cheryl went in to survey the damage.
"What did you do this time?", she asked as she braced herself for the worst.
"I sorta ran over baby Jesus."

.....strike three

So, to sum things up, Cheryl thinks I am a chimp, Savannah thinks that I'll eat anything in sight, and Gabe is Judas. Were did I go wrong?