Thursday, December 18, 2008
Merry Christmas....pass the Wine!!!
I've had it! I am sooooo done with Christmas shopping. I'm done!! I've made an executive decision and this year, instead of buying all the things on my wife's list, I'm simply gonna make a video for her of me....shopping for everything on her list. Trust me, this would be the gift that keeps on giving.
Take for example, item #........(thinking).......7, a new make-up brush. Hmmmmm, a make-up brush, how hard could that be. Pretty damn hard if you can't find it at Cabela's. I just barely found out that there is a store here in town that sells 'beauty supplies'.....such as a makeup brush. So, here I am, dedicated Christmas shopper, walking into a beauty supply store. I'm glad the Salvation army wasn't taking donations at THAT door, or I might have felt inclined to strip myself of all manliness and shove it in their little red pot....but I digress. So I walk in, and immediately I look around and I quickly realized that this was probably a bad idea and most likely....was not going to end well. I saw curling irons, and hair straightener things, and blow dryers, files, clips, hooks, bands, perms....I was totally out of my element. Fortunately for me, one of the sales associates noticed an increase of testosterone, sorta like the Yoda of Sally Beauty Supply, and quickly came to my rescue, or so I hoped.
Yoda the sales Associate: "Hi, welcome to Sally Beauty Supply, can I help you find something."
Me: "Uhhh....huh (blushes)....yeah...hi, and YES PLEASE!?"
y.t.s.a: "Ummm....ok, what is it that your looking for today?"
Me: "I need a make-up brush...."
y.t.s.a: "Ok, sure, what kind of makeup are you applying?"
Me: "It's not for me, and I have no idea what MY WIFE will be using if for...I'm gonna guess.....makeup!"
y.t.s.a: "Right........ I need to know what kind of makeup your 'wife' is applying!"
Me: "I'm really not sure, Cover Girl?!"
y.t.s.a: "Yeaahhhhh.....no, what size does she need?"
At this point I'm thinking...what the hell, her face cant be THAT big! I had no idea that there were sooooo many options for makeup brushes. Long handled-short bristled, short handled-long bristled, I think I even saw one made up of Mink fur and the handle was crafted from bones from the last guy that tried to buy a makeup brush for his wife. I just grabbed one that looked fuzzy....I think it was black! As soon as I handed the brush over the counter to Yoda the Sales Associate, it's like we hadn't met...30 seconds earlier.
Yoda the sales Associate: "Hi, did you find everything all right this evening?"
Me: "Uhhhhhh.....*slightly confused at this point*.....I think so, yeah!"
y.t.s.a: "....greaaaaaat.....and will you be using your Sally card tonight?"
..........wait a minute, my Sally Card?! I had no idea this place even existed 2 hours ago, and now I have a Sally Card!
Me: "I think I'll just use a debit card!"
Maybe next year my wife will ask for a leather boustia!!