Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I put the 'fun' in disfunctional

I should not be allowed to interact with real people...mostly because I'm unable to. I'm pretty sure I have Torrettes, ya know, where an involuntary muscle movement or sound is displayed unconsciously. Sometimes I get done talking and I think to myself, "Man, your an IDIOT!!"

My conversation with a co-worker
Co-worker: Hey Anthony, whats up?
Me: *stutters* Uhhhh....good!?

Ok, it's bad enough that I gave an answer that was totally out of context but its worse because I actually paused for a moment before responding, thus giving the impression that I was actually thinking before I spoke.

I keep having flashbacks of my high school days where if by some queer twist of fate, the hottest girl on earth would say anything to me, I would immediately turn bright red, stutter out some sort of verbal gibberish, all while wetting my pants. I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.

What is it about some people that make it impossible to communicate? Are they so much better that anything you say will automatically make you sound stupid? Or maybe it's my own...stupid..ed...ness that makes me sound stupid. Whatever it is, I need to fix it. I'm gonna make it my life's mission to become the greatest communicator in the world and I won't rest until I make someone else go red in the face and wet themselves....I have a way to go.


Ginger said...

I have had customers who approach my counter and immediately say "fine". I have to stop myself from saying, "huh? Oh, I didn't actually ask how you are." I kind of think that the bosses wouldn't smile on that kind of customer service.

Ginger said...

And, to further prove that I'm a dork, too... thanks for the birthday wishes... but the sunflower cake wasn't for my birthday. We just wanted cake, so we made that one. My birthday cake was angel food with strawberries and cool-whip. Don't you wish you were closer? :)

Angie said...

I think you are fab!! It must be a twin thing though, because I have to admit, sometimes I do or say something, and then honestly, I say OUT LOUD..."Man, I bug me." I put the 'weird' in "weirdo"

Tom and Audrie said...

I think we all have those duh! moments in our life where we say things without thinking. I know I do, so you are not alone!

Michelle said...

I do this all of the time. Luckily I save the really stupid comments for people at church. I just shouldn't be allowed to talk cause I don't know how to respond to anything without being sarcastic.

Sterling Ungerman Family said...

Most things I say in mixed company usually elicit a blank stare that is masking feelings of horror and disgust. After I make my comments I wonder what I said that was so offensive... then I have to chase someone down and explain "I don't know if I made it clear that my dogs name is the same as yours... and SHE came and crawled in bed with me last night and SHE was the one that sniffed my butt this morning with a cold hairy nose... OH! Don't slap me again! Are you calling your lawyer? OH... Great!"