Monday, May 5, 2008

Can you hear me now.....GOOD!!!!


I've tried so hard lately to be a little more patient, a little more kind, I've even tried to be patient and kind at the same time. OVERRATED!!!! So, without further ado, welcome to the latest installment of "What kind of a dunderhead are you?"

I have noticed recently that traditional restroom etiquette has fallen by the wayside. What was once a haven for the weary traveler, a sanctuary for three minutes of quiet contemplation, is now the proverbial Water Cooler. WHAT THE HELL!!! I don't know about you, but there are certain times when I would much rather concentrate on the task at hand instead of breaking off into alternate activities. You don't try to do your taxes in a dark movie theater so why are you trying to talk to me in the restroom. Here's a helpful tip for you...SHUT UP!! I know that sounds harsh and gives people a bad impression of me, but really, do you want to talk about the ball game now!!! Could we wait for 3 minutes and at least wash our hands first. Come on!!

Here is another tip, just because your not talking directly to anyone in the bathroom, doesn't make it ok for you to talk on your phone. First of all, bathrooms, in a lot of cases, should be treated like Las Vegas. What happens in the bathroom, should stay in the bathroom. Regardless of your opinion of the person on the other end, they do not deserve to hear some of the noises from the trumpet section!!! Secondly, even if they aren't able to hear anything from anybody else, it forces you, the bathroom phone talker, to severely compromise your personal hygiene. Sure, you may make a vain attempt at the 'shoulder to the ear' technique, but that phone is slipping and your gonna catch it. I guess if your ok with sticking a pee covered Motorola to your ear, be my guest...I just threw up a little bit!!

6 comments:

Ginger said...

I think I feel a full-body quiver coming on!! I completely agree with your thoughts--I will talk to you any time or any place, EXCEPT the bathroom.

Angie said...

Just know I love you. That's all! You make me smile!

Tom and Audrie said...

Tom complains about the same thing all the time and doesn't understand why people will make phone call as soon as they get in the bathroom.

Cazier Family said...

Are you mad I stole your blogs address? You're a funny guy.

Sterling Ungerman Family said...

Bluetooth might be worse! Nothing like standing at the urinal staring blankly at the wall like you were intently reading a newspaper article that only you can see. Someone stradles up the urinal next to you and suddenly blurts out "How are you doing?" me - "uh, um.... f-f-f-fine?" guy looks over at you annoyed and continues "Well I went over the numbers and the Smith account is bleeding red numbers, we have to cut corners to make that viable again, call Johnny and schedule the consultants to meet with them." me- "uh-uh-um... oh, um, Ok... wait... call who?" guy looks over and scowls at you again and says "That's interesting... yes I see, well let's meet with Franks group and see what they want to do." about then I realize he has a n earpiece in and that I am not important enough that I can wear one of those and that I can be making money will I pee. So, I have invented something. It is a cargo net hammock that hangs from the bathroom stall and has legs that hang down to look like your feet. Simply hang up the hammock in a stall, put your shoes on the legs hanging below and enjoy a few hours of rest while at work. When you finally return back to your desk rested up, you will be greeted with looks of amazement. Don't be surprised when you boss says "Gee! You were in that stall for 2 hours! You better take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow when you are feeling better!" at which you will say "You are right! I do feel like fishing... I mean, I don't feel too hot. I-I, um will see you tomorrow!"

thePatrick said...

I hope it's okay, but I decided to borrow your comments for my 'That Guy' book. More than willing to give you a preview if you'd like.