But Grown-up rhymes with Throwin' up!!

I love my life. I have a good life. I have a fantastic family, I like the work that I do, I have a dashboard hula dancer for hell's sake...what more could a guy want!! Some of you (all of you) might think I act a bit childish at times (all the time), but lets consider the alternative. I could act GROWN UP!

This idea popped into my head the other day as my family and I were wandering aimlessly through the aisles of a popular big box store. In one spot in the store, they had a Playstation 3 hooked up to a ginormous TV, with the 'Rockband' game, and all of its assorted paraphernalia (drums, guitar, microphone, etc.) tempting the masses that sauntered by. *I instantly started drooling! Then I watched as kids lined up, waiting to play, and their parents slowly creeping out of the way. This seemed like a non-verbal disclaimer that they were in no way to be associated with a silly video game, but instead they were only supervising. Needless to say, Gabe and I were all over the chance to play. I realize that I should probably be embarrassed, as I was the only one in the long line of onlookers that was over 4 feet tall. oops! I guess I failed to see the height marker, you know the ones..."you must be under 48" to enjoy life at all, anyone over 48" is invited to a checkbook balancing seminar, after which we will discuss, in depth, the topic of illegal killing of Rhino's in Africa and the effects it has on third-world countries.....and thank you for visiting the most magical place on earth!"

*lets take a break, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

It's Official.....I'm an Idiot!!

Recently, I was given a little hula girl that goes on the dashboard of your vehicle.....love it. Its pretty funny to be driving down the street and see Muhana (that is her name) standing there, perfectly content to just dance. However, some of the streets here are not very conducive to hula dancing, so Muhana doesnt get to "shaka the money maka."

*enter idiot

One would think that I would be appreciative of such smooth roads. One might think that I could be just a little bit patient...after all, there is bound to be a bump or two coming right up.....That's a big NOPE! The idiot in me has to make Muhana dance. It's borderline compulsive at this point. I don't think I'd go so far as to say I am driving reckless, but I'm definitely hurting my chances of eligibility for that "Safe Driving Bonus Check" from Allstate.

There is just something strangely entertaining about seeing Muhana up on the dash, gently swaying back and forth. Sometimes I like to move my steering wheel to the same cadence at which she is swaying. The more she sways, the more I move, the more I move, the more she sways....can you see the problem with this. I am starting to remind myself of those kids you see at night, you know the ones...its always the cars that have more passengers than seatbelts, the stereo is inflicting is methodical thump on every car within six miles, and the driver is obviously being attacked by a swarm of killer bees, cause he is all over the place. I guess deep down, I can start to sympathize with these kids now. Maybe its not bees, maybe they have a Muhana of their very own. Maybe they aren't bouncin' to Snoop Dogg, maybe....just maybe they are listening to Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, gently strumming his ukulele. (It could happen)

I guess I should take hope in the fact that I have admitted I have a problem. (admission is the first step to recovery) Perhaps I just need to come up with alternate forms of entertainment....I think I'll go for a drive while I think about that!!!

This is against everything I stand for!!

I typically dont like to hop on the "Lets get to know each other better" bandwagon. In fact, I enjoy a certain amount of anonymity. I started this whole blog in a half-hearted effort in improve my communication skills and to indulge in a little creative writing, neither of which I am very good at. So, when I get the emails that ask such prying questions like..."What is your favorite color?", I typically just file them in the same folder with the email that is warning me that little Sarah So-and-so is gonna die unless I forward this email to 20 friends. Not a huge fan.

That being said, I feel a twinge of guilt when I just delete...er....I mean...file stuff away. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feel as if I am ignoring the person who sent it. The little Thony angel pops up on my shoulder, poutingly hangs his head a bit, like he just lost a balloon, and whispers to me..."but Jesus said to love everyone, even if their emails do have an exorbitant amount of kittens in them!"...stupid Thony angel....FINE, I'll do it...but I won't like it. In fact, its safe to say that I'll hate it, and the only reason I comply is to appease the sender...and Thony angel!!

*mumbles--stupid Mormon guilt!!

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. Working at Autoliv
2. Trying to decide on a major...(man, did I miss the boat on this one)
3. Crammed in a tiny apartment in Logan..we're talking 'fat guy in a little coat' crammed
4. Newlywed
5. Blissfully unaware of most everything, some things never change.

5 Things on my "to-do" list today:
1. Wake up
2. snooze
3. snooze
4. Drag my sorry arse to the gym
5. Work

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. ICE CREAM
2. Rice Crispie Treats (AKA...proof that God loves me)
3. Pizza
4. Chips
5. Cool Beverages

5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Complain that I still don't get paid what I'm worth
2. Invest
3. Start a 'Chubbie white punk' scholarship fund
4. Buy a boat
5. Let Cheryl have the rest...I'll be on my boat if you need me

3 of my bad habits:
1. Swearing like a drunken sailor
2. Complaining, mostly in jest but there is a bit of truth to some.
3. Overindulgence

5 Places I have lived:
1. Idaho
2. Utah
3. Tennessee
4. Virgina
5. Switzerland....what the hell...it looks good

5 Jobs I've had:
1. Dairy hand
2. Treadmill tester
3. Bomb Maker...(Autoliv)
4. Keebler elf (Pepperidge Farms)
5. Graphic Designer

5 Things people don't know about me:
1. I see dead people
2. Clowns scare the hell out of me
3. I run...
4. I have an 'unhealthy obsession' with Guitar Hero
5. ??? (maybe you should tell me what I don't know about myself)

glumbert - Jim Gaffigan loves bacon